Another great piece! But I also think that anytime we're talking about social/emotional labor and kinkeeping, we can also tell women it's OK to dial it down, to stop setting the bar so high to create "holiday magic."
That feminism can and should include being more minimal about capitalistic expectations (I will never, ever buy an elf on the shelf), holiday "decorating," on and on. If you love that sort of thing, go for it, but your family will not suffer if you don't buy fancy napkins or send out Xmas cards or order delivery for the big meal or simply let the Amazon packing count as gift wrap.
It's profitable to burden women with the guilt of creating "holiday magic" but we can redefine and set limits on that. So important for kids to see that happening, too.
Yes ALL of this. Well said! I considered writing a post on this too but I've seen a few already. And for the record, if I celebrated Christmas I wouldn't buy an elf on the shelf either. It's a bit creepy! 😂
Even though we do lots of parties and gifts and fun things for Hanukkah, I always say I’m grateful not to have to deal with the pressure and stress of creating a perfect Christmas for everyone. So many moms seem so stressed by it all in a way I don’t experience the holidays. And it seems that the moms themselves get to enjoy very little of the magic they create (that empty stocking tik tok… 😤). Also, I don’t want Santa taking credit for my gift buying! It was I who bought you that book that you’re mad about, my dear child.
Haha. Of the eight nights, they always get that one dreaded book in our house. I feel exactly the same way -- It's enough time/effort to come up with 16 pretty thoughtful gifts rather than a million GREAT one while also creating a magical experience. Christmastime is the gift of relaxation for me.
My mother taught me to lavish my Christmas energy where I want to and set boundaries around the rest. So I love the gift-giving, but I forego ribbons on my packages (who has time?) and serve Eggo waffles and thawed strawberries from the freezer on Christmas, as she did for us as kids. “Christmas is a holiday for me, too,” she said every year, while we padded to the kitchen in our slippers to toast our prize waffles when we felt like it.
Loved this!!! Christmas has gotten easier as my kids have gotten older, but this totally brought me back to those years where “making the magic” felt like it was 100% my responsibility.
This is Lizzie’s husband. I don’t consider myself a hardcore feminist but I do like pointing out unfair incongruities in expectations between men and women. This is such a well written title that I already agreed before even reading it. I, lightly surprised at myself, totally agree that society would be better if the expectation was equally shared and glorified between men and women.
In my family, only the stocking presents come from Santa. Still totally magical but I feel like it sets up a good dynamic for the kids to understand where the big stuff comes from!
Another great piece! But I also think that anytime we're talking about social/emotional labor and kinkeeping, we can also tell women it's OK to dial it down, to stop setting the bar so high to create "holiday magic."
That feminism can and should include being more minimal about capitalistic expectations (I will never, ever buy an elf on the shelf), holiday "decorating," on and on. If you love that sort of thing, go for it, but your family will not suffer if you don't buy fancy napkins or send out Xmas cards or order delivery for the big meal or simply let the Amazon packing count as gift wrap.
It's profitable to burden women with the guilt of creating "holiday magic" but we can redefine and set limits on that. So important for kids to see that happening, too.
(As comic Trey Kennedy says "do less/god bless)
Yes ALL of this. Well said! I considered writing a post on this too but I've seen a few already. And for the record, if I celebrated Christmas I wouldn't buy an elf on the shelf either. It's a bit creepy! 😂
lol our kids have begged and begged for one 😂 we still don’t have it
Even though we do lots of parties and gifts and fun things for Hanukkah, I always say I’m grateful not to have to deal with the pressure and stress of creating a perfect Christmas for everyone. So many moms seem so stressed by it all in a way I don’t experience the holidays. And it seems that the moms themselves get to enjoy very little of the magic they create (that empty stocking tik tok… 😤). Also, I don’t want Santa taking credit for my gift buying! It was I who bought you that book that you’re mad about, my dear child.
Haha. Of the eight nights, they always get that one dreaded book in our house. I feel exactly the same way -- It's enough time/effort to come up with 16 pretty thoughtful gifts rather than a million GREAT one while also creating a magical experience. Christmastime is the gift of relaxation for me.
My mother taught me to lavish my Christmas energy where I want to and set boundaries around the rest. So I love the gift-giving, but I forego ribbons on my packages (who has time?) and serve Eggo waffles and thawed strawberries from the freezer on Christmas, as she did for us as kids. “Christmas is a holiday for me, too,” she said every year, while we padded to the kitchen in our slippers to toast our prize waffles when we felt like it.
Your mom sounds very wise! Glad you've carried on the practice of self-preservation which sounds like it's led to lovely traditions.
Loved this!!! Christmas has gotten easier as my kids have gotten older, but this totally brought me back to those years where “making the magic” felt like it was 100% my responsibility.
Someone once said, even in happy homes, the mothers are always a little less happy. So much responsibility!
This is Lizzie’s husband. I don’t consider myself a hardcore feminist but I do like pointing out unfair incongruities in expectations between men and women. This is such a well written title that I already agreed before even reading it. I, lightly surprised at myself, totally agree that society would be better if the expectation was equally shared and glorified between men and women.
Well written. Well done.
Aw thanks Lizzie’s husband! Glad it resonated and thanks for letting me know.
haha yes - his name is Abram and I think it’s time he gets his own substack hehe!
Merry Christmas to all:)
Voting all done 😁
Merry Christmas Boris! And thanks so much for voting :)
Absolutely welcome 🤗 thank you very much:)
In my family, only the stocking presents come from Santa. Still totally magical but I feel like it sets up a good dynamic for the kids to understand where the big stuff comes from!
That is brilliant!
Voted! Good luck !
Aw thanks so much Nancia!