My go-to in these situations: ‘Oh I’m so sorry. I’ve obviously accidentally done something to make you think I give a flying f#$& about your opinion or welcome your input. My bad. I don’t.’
I got flashed in a grocery store parking lot. I gave him a look and said, "wow, that looks like a penis, only smaller." Always go for body shaming--it's language they understand.
My coworker's daughter (9) responded to someone telling her to be more ladylike with "I want aware my vagina came with conditions" and I think about that a lot.
Or you can just ask a question: “What do you mean by that?” Men who say those idiotic things never stop to question their motivations, so when you force them to, you shift the power dynamic.
I always appreciate Gaye Adegbalola’s response to being called a bitch. They call strong women bitches. They call successful women bitches. That’s why they call Barbra Streisand a bitch. She goes on: bitch stands for Being In Total Control of Herself and when they call me a bitch I say: thank you, very much. And, having been called a bitch more than once by guys of little actual accomplishment, I can respond: thank you, very much.
Thank you so much for these. Wish I could pass them back in time to teenage and young adult me who definitely just froze, like you said. I wonder what your thoughts are on the more simmering microsexisms that come up, sometimes even in spaces that are trying to intentionally be inclusive or feminist?
I notice this so much in how people respond to my two girls or even to me as a mom who works full time. I’m in the south, for context, but the passive aggressive sexism with a sweet smile is rampant!
Hi! So glad it resonated. My book Sexism & Sensibility is all about the invisible bias and sexism that chip away at girls self esteem and sense of self. Is that what you mean? By microsexisms do you mean like always calling the mom when the kids get sick or constantly commenting on girls’ appearance?
Yes!! I so can’t wait to get to your book. ❤️ Totally those examples - commenting on my girls’ appearance or their sweetness or whether they are good or compliant. It’s hard to think of examples at times because it’s so pervasive and in the water. And yet I’m often longing for some zingers in my back pocket that I can respond with.
Thanks Bridget! And yep all of those examples walk girls down the path to being capital G Good and self-sacrificing for everyone else's benefit but their own.
When I had my first baby he was blonde like I was as a baby and kid, but unlike how hubs and I are now. I went to my husband’s work function and a coworker legit made a “joke” about me having the baby with our mailman (since neither of us are blonde? An insult to both me and our mailman) and let my husband know that the hospital provides paternity tests. In that moment I definitely froze and in the 20 years since I haven’t forgotten it AND I’ve thought of so many great ways to respond to that!
ewwww. Clearly someone whose own ethics are in the toilet and/or who has quite a low opinion of women. Lots of good responses to be had when you're not in shock!
My go-to in these situations: ‘Oh I’m so sorry. I’ve obviously accidentally done something to make you think I give a flying f#$& about your opinion or welcome your input. My bad. I don’t.’
lol love this so much!!
My favorite: "Would you say that to a guy?"
I got flashed in a grocery store parking lot. I gave him a look and said, "wow, that looks like a penis, only smaller." Always go for body shaming--it's language they understand.
hahaha. But seriously, that is excellent advice.
My comeback to this type of crap:
Shall I show you my field where I grow my fucks to give? Oh, look! It is barren.
Perfect and hilarious!
I didn’t see my favorite response to “Your body, my choice:”
“Your dick, my foot.”
lol ❤️❤️❤️
Your sister (me) is very bossy.
No, she’s aggressively helpful. Which you clearly need.
~ my amazing brother to his coworker.
What a supportive response ❤️
No snappy comeback, just give them a totally silent steely stare until THEY blink.
My coworker's daughter (9) responded to someone telling her to be more ladylike with "I want aware my vagina came with conditions" and I think about that a lot.
Or you can just ask a question: “What do you mean by that?” Men who say those idiotic things never stop to question their motivations, so when you force them to, you shift the power dynamic.
I leave it at, “Your insecurities are showing.”
Congrats on the win! 😁
"Why? Need some lessons?" - love that 🤣
Thanks Boris! :)
Absolutely welcome 😁
I always appreciate Gaye Adegbalola’s response to being called a bitch. They call strong women bitches. They call successful women bitches. That’s why they call Barbra Streisand a bitch. She goes on: bitch stands for Being In Total Control of Herself and when they call me a bitch I say: thank you, very much. And, having been called a bitch more than once by guys of little actual accomplishment, I can respond: thank you, very much.
Love this. Thank you!
Thank you so much for these. Wish I could pass them back in time to teenage and young adult me who definitely just froze, like you said. I wonder what your thoughts are on the more simmering microsexisms that come up, sometimes even in spaces that are trying to intentionally be inclusive or feminist?
I notice this so much in how people respond to my two girls or even to me as a mom who works full time. I’m in the south, for context, but the passive aggressive sexism with a sweet smile is rampant!
Hi! So glad it resonated. My book Sexism & Sensibility is all about the invisible bias and sexism that chip away at girls self esteem and sense of self. Is that what you mean? By microsexisms do you mean like always calling the mom when the kids get sick or constantly commenting on girls’ appearance?
Yes!! I so can’t wait to get to your book. ❤️ Totally those examples - commenting on my girls’ appearance or their sweetness or whether they are good or compliant. It’s hard to think of examples at times because it’s so pervasive and in the water. And yet I’m often longing for some zingers in my back pocket that I can respond with.
So appreciate you and your work!
Thanks Bridget! And yep all of those examples walk girls down the path to being capital G Good and self-sacrificing for everyone else's benefit but their own.
My girls aren’t just good, they’re awesome! Insert brilliant accomplishments….😉
Go back to math class and learn to make your opinion count.
❤️
Well, I swear like a sailor, female or male.
🙌🙌🙌
When I had my first baby he was blonde like I was as a baby and kid, but unlike how hubs and I are now. I went to my husband’s work function and a coworker legit made a “joke” about me having the baby with our mailman (since neither of us are blonde? An insult to both me and our mailman) and let my husband know that the hospital provides paternity tests. In that moment I definitely froze and in the 20 years since I haven’t forgotten it AND I’ve thought of so many great ways to respond to that!
ewwww. Clearly someone whose own ethics are in the toilet and/or who has quite a low opinion of women. Lots of good responses to be had when you're not in shock!