One place that I find interesting is the use of “girl(s)” in professional settings. My dentist: “one of the girls, will come check you out.” He meant one of the Techs, not the female dentist/co-owner. I asked the Tech, “do you like when the dentist calls techs ‘girls’?” She said that she finds it endearing and all the Techs are “girls.”
The team I lead is comprised, right now, of only women HR professionals. I don’t believe for a second they would find it endearing.
I love the use if the phrase “I noticed ____ …. I wonder ____” to highlight to others that some of the phrases and metaphors could be updated to better suit the intents.
It is all those subtle ways of relating that impact kids sense of who they are that prompted me to write Sexism & Sensibility. We are just inundated with (and unwittingly inundating others) with a gendered understanding of the world.
I first noticed this when my son was in first grade (6 years ago). Maybe I hadn’t noticed it before that because he had gone to a more progressive private preschool and kindergarten, but in first grade we switched to public school. His teacher was lovely, but I noticed this pattern and was kind of floored by it (not in a good way). It’s subtle but also speaks volumes. I’ve never heard anyone else mention this phenomenon so thank you for the validation!
Thanks for these great insights. I hadn't seen this AOC quote, but your analysis is right on target, and makes me want to do a personal inventory of the subtle biases that might be lingering in my own criticisms of various people and institutions in leadership (soooo many on that list right now at the moment!)
One place that I find interesting is the use of “girl(s)” in professional settings. My dentist: “one of the girls, will come check you out.” He meant one of the Techs, not the female dentist/co-owner. I asked the Tech, “do you like when the dentist calls techs ‘girls’?” She said that she finds it endearing and all the Techs are “girls.”
The team I lead is comprised, right now, of only women HR professionals. I don’t believe for a second they would find it endearing.
I love the use if the phrase “I noticed ____ …. I wonder ____” to highlight to others that some of the phrases and metaphors could be updated to better suit the intents.
Yeah I really don’t like the use of girls for grown women. But at least he didn’t say “one of MY girls…” haha
Oh this is the worst! Or when adults call boys "buddy" and girls "sweetie."
It is all those subtle ways of relating that impact kids sense of who they are that prompted me to write Sexism & Sensibility. We are just inundated with (and unwittingly inundating others) with a gendered understanding of the world.
I first noticed this when my son was in first grade (6 years ago). Maybe I hadn’t noticed it before that because he had gone to a more progressive private preschool and kindergarten, but in first grade we switched to public school. His teacher was lovely, but I noticed this pattern and was kind of floored by it (not in a good way). It’s subtle but also speaks volumes. I’ve never heard anyone else mention this phenomenon so thank you for the validation!
Ooh, I love the idea of you giving a talk in our community, either virtually or in person. I’m in Western Mass—is that far for you to travel to?
I’m in Chicago so…not as far as Amsterdam! :)
As a father of a daughter, I thank you for this insight. A new angle to consider.
Thanks for reading and for the comment Joshua 🙏🏼
Thanks for these great insights. I hadn't seen this AOC quote, but your analysis is right on target, and makes me want to do a personal inventory of the subtle biases that might be lingering in my own criticisms of various people and institutions in leadership (soooo many on that list right now at the moment!)