Thank you for this insightful article. I admit I probably most resonate with the father in this situation. I come from a past place of homophobia. I’m happy to report that that place is changing, even in the people that (accidentally?) raised me to be homophobic. (Or, all the “phobics.”) I am learning how to be affirming, but sometimes the old ways, and I guess I should include patriarchy, are really hard to recognize even myself. This article helped quite a bit. I am hopeful it will help me move one step further to a better place of acceptance and understanding, affirmation and love.
Jeff you totally amaze me. Change is difficult. Changing to be more open-minded and inclusive is REALLY difficult. Even if we can get beyond the unconscious ways we feel threatened, so many of us are emotionally lazy. So the fact that you're actively working to be and do better gives me so much faith in humanity. Thank you!
The timing of this comment couldn’t have been better. I just got raked over the coals for my most recent article for my affirmation of my lgbtq+ friends. (On Facebook, not Substack. Thanks you, Jo-Ann.)
Such a balanced, informative and helpful answer for all of us wondering how to help kuds feel safe when they're outside the "box" society tries to keep them in (and people are understandably scared tio challenge). This gives us courage to challenge, with love and understanding!
Responding to another comment, I see I originally replied to you below rather than directly so here it is again: I’m so glad it was helpful Louise. Thank you so much for letting me know! I’m glad you’re here :)
I don't know what has taken me so long to get to reading "The Feminist Parent." (Yes, I do. I'm a parent with a Substack library that stretches to infinity!) 😂 Subscribing today to make up for my deficit.
This lovely, compassionate article reminded me of the graphic novel, *The Prince and the Dressmaker*. I recommend the book to any adults who feel confusion, fear, or distaste about young people dressing across the gender binaries (especially boys as girls). It's important to read all the way to the end (the work of not many minutes).
The book is family-affirming, loving, joyful, and chaste, which may surprise the adults who expect to dislike it. (It gets banned and challenged in libraries.)
Some of my students who read the graphic novel said, "I think this behavior ["cross"-dressing] is wrong, but I love this book." The work of repairing wounded hearts takes many steps. Thank you, Jo-Ann for your compassion for kids. ❤️
Thanks for this lovely comment Tara and for the book recommendation! I'm so glad we've connected. And as someone with an infinity Substack library (omg) I totally get it.
I absolutely love this article! How refreshing! If only some of these considerations were critically taught in high schools, we may see a reduction in abuse.
Thanks so much Olivia! Unfortunately these days when open-mindedness and inclusivity is taught in schools it's considered grooming or manipulating. But I couldn't agree with you more.
Jo-Ann,
Thank you for this insightful article. I admit I probably most resonate with the father in this situation. I come from a past place of homophobia. I’m happy to report that that place is changing, even in the people that (accidentally?) raised me to be homophobic. (Or, all the “phobics.”) I am learning how to be affirming, but sometimes the old ways, and I guess I should include patriarchy, are really hard to recognize even myself. This article helped quite a bit. I am hopeful it will help me move one step further to a better place of acceptance and understanding, affirmation and love.
Jeff you totally amaze me. Change is difficult. Changing to be more open-minded and inclusive is REALLY difficult. Even if we can get beyond the unconscious ways we feel threatened, so many of us are emotionally lazy. So the fact that you're actively working to be and do better gives me so much faith in humanity. Thank you!
The timing of this comment couldn’t have been better. I just got raked over the coals for my most recent article for my affirmation of my lgbtq+ friends. (On Facebook, not Substack. Thanks you, Jo-Ann.)
oof I'm sorry. You're brave to put it out there. Even if you change only one mind, it will affect many lives...
Such a balanced, informative and helpful answer for all of us wondering how to help kuds feel safe when they're outside the "box" society tries to keep them in (and people are understandably scared tio challenge). This gives us courage to challenge, with love and understanding!
Monica
Thanks Monica! ❤️
I found this article so helpful Jo-Ann, thank you. I'm really glad I stumbled across your work - just brilliant!
Responding to another comment, I see I originally replied to you below rather than directly so here it is again: I’m so glad it was helpful Louise. Thank you so much for letting me know! I’m glad you’re here :)
I don't know what has taken me so long to get to reading "The Feminist Parent." (Yes, I do. I'm a parent with a Substack library that stretches to infinity!) 😂 Subscribing today to make up for my deficit.
This lovely, compassionate article reminded me of the graphic novel, *The Prince and the Dressmaker*. I recommend the book to any adults who feel confusion, fear, or distaste about young people dressing across the gender binaries (especially boys as girls). It's important to read all the way to the end (the work of not many minutes).
The book is family-affirming, loving, joyful, and chaste, which may surprise the adults who expect to dislike it. (It gets banned and challenged in libraries.)
Some of my students who read the graphic novel said, "I think this behavior ["cross"-dressing] is wrong, but I love this book." The work of repairing wounded hearts takes many steps. Thank you, Jo-Ann for your compassion for kids. ❤️
Thanks for this lovely comment Tara and for the book recommendation! I'm so glad we've connected. And as someone with an infinity Substack library (omg) I totally get it.
I absolutely love this article! How refreshing! If only some of these considerations were critically taught in high schools, we may see a reduction in abuse.
Thanks so much Olivia! Unfortunately these days when open-mindedness and inclusivity is taught in schools it's considered grooming or manipulating. But I couldn't agree with you more.
This was such a thoughtful piece, thank you!
You're so welcome. Thank YOU for reading and commenting!
I’m so glad it was helpful Louise. Thank you so much for letting me know! I’m glad you’re here :)