By now you’ve probably heard that my new book, Sexism & Sensibility is releasing in just a few weeks, on September 3rd.
This book is written specifically for parents who are invested in raising confident and powerful girls in a culture that often demeans them. But I’m also hearing from early readers that they’re finding it “healing” and “liberating” for themselves, too, beyond how they plan to use it to help their daughters.
The most common question I get in interviews and on podcasts is: what led you to write Sexism & Sensibility? So, I thought I’d share my answer with you. It all began in childhood (doesn’t everything?). I grew up with three brothers, and, well, a hefty dose of gender bias. My parents were (are) extremely loving but had some definite ideas about femininity that felt very limiting to me. One example that has become family lore, is that I asked for a hockey stick for my birthday. My brothers all had one (we grew up in Montreal after all) and I guess I was tired of sitting on the sidelines with the other girls as they played street hockey every evening with other boys on the block. I waited eagerly for that stick and when it arrived, I was devastated. It was PINK!
When I complained or got upset about the differences I noticed, they insisted they didn’t treat the boys and me differently, or that I was being too sensitive or dramatic—classic comments I now know girls and women hear a lot. Confused, I struggled to hide my feelings to avoid criticism. It wasn’t until I was doing a graduate degree that I began to more deeply understand my experience. I mentioned in a paper for my developmental psychology class that I’d been accused of overreacting when I expressed feeling demeaned or overlooked. The professor scribbled in the margin, “That’s what people say to talk girls out of their feelings!” It was such a validating moment for me.
My story is every girl’s story. They may not have gotten a pink hockey stick, but they have gotten messages that made them feel unseen, unheard, and not taken seriously.
Listening to girls and women in my private practice over the last 24 years, I found overwhelming evidence that it wasn’t just me who was impacted by gender bias and sexism. I’ve witnessed just how harmful it is to my patients’ sense of self and their sense of potential. What can seem like tiny psychological paper cuts, accumulate and become festering wounds of self-doubt.
So I wrote Sexism & Sensibility to offer parents deeper awareness and tools to fight against the biases they might not even recognize they’re bringing into their homes, and to help their daughters with the sexism they’ll experience out in the world. Rather than inadvertently diminishing our daughters, I show parents how to empower them and help them understand their full potential, feelings and all.
I’m so excited for you to get Sexism & Sensibility in your hands. If the book interests you, I’d love it if you would consider preordering it now to give the book a “boost” in the market and broaden its potential distribution.
When booksellers see a book doing well weeks and months in advance of their on-sale date, it is a strong signal to them that the book will be popular—so they often increase their order of the book or make different decisions about that book’s placement on their shelves.
Your preorder of one copy can have BIG ripples. Thank you. 🙏
To encourage you to preorder, I’m offering two special bonus gifts:
Exclusive, LIVE, virtual conversation - Join me and bestselling author of BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity,
, for a live conversation to discuss the challenges of raising gender-equal kids in the modern world. Bring your burning questions and get them answered, live!Free access for one year to this newsletter - Yes, after more than a year of being on Substack, I am putting up a paywall. But don’t worry, there will still be plenty of free content—even more since this book is almost launched! But if you preorder now, you will get a one-year membership for FREE—A $50 value. In addition to bi-weekly commentary and analysis about the challenges girls and women face, and how we can better prepare our daughters for the world, you’ll get:
Audio on every post
The ability to comment and join the community
A monthly AMA (Ask Me Anything) avec moi
Access to the full archive
Visit SexismandSensibility.com to learn more about the book, the bonuses, and preorder your copy today!
I’m so grateful to this wonderful, growing community!
xo, Jo-Ann
P.S. I realize when I turned on payments, everyone who had already generously pledged was automatically charged. If you choose to preorder the book, just follow the instructions to access the gifts and I will happily refund you!
I am so looking forward to reading your book. I had 3 boys and then a daughter. Part of me mentally put away navigating raising a girl in this culture but then she was here! I am just finishing Ruth Whippman's book, what a powerful combination the two of you make.
Dear Jo-Ann,
I can't emphasize how important this topic has become to me since I became a mom to not one, but two daughters. I want to get it right for them and teach them how to live the life they want
I just discovered your newsletter, and as a fellow psychologist (though with fewer years of experience), I feel this book was written for me! My older daughter will start first grade this year, and reading this book will mean a lot as I prepare for this new chapter. I will definitely be pre-ordering it!
Best regards,
Vladica