Bookiversary Bash! Swag Inside
Raising resilient girls isn’t just a personal mission—it’s a cultural imperative
* Psst..if you’re looking for the swag, it’s at the end!
Today marks one full year since Sexism & Sensibility: Raising Empowered, Resilient Girls in the Modern World landed in your homes, hearts, and hands—on September 3, 2024. I’m brimming with gratitude for every reader, commenter, reviewer, and friend who’s welcomed this book into their lives. And for the hundreds more who have posted about it on social media. Your support has transformed this into something far bigger than I ever imagined.
I wrote the book out of urgency: because despite the progress we’d made, sexism was still quietly yet profoundly shaping the way our daughters grew up. With the leak that Roe would be repealed, I could hear it getting much much louder. I wanted parents to have the tools to notice it, name it, and help girls push back without losing hope.
Twelve months (and one election) later, the urgency has grown much sharper.
[See the S&S birth announcement for a short video on why I wrote it.]
Why resilience is still the key
When I speak to parents, one question comes up again and again: How do we prepare our daughters for the world without discouraging them?
We want to protect them, of course—but we can’t bubble-wrap them. We also don’t want to send them into the world naïve, unprepared for bias, harassment, or the double standards they will almost certainly encounter.
That’s why resilience—not perfection, not invulnerability—is the goal. Resilience is what allows girls to notice sexism and say, “That’s not about me. That’s about the system.” It gives them space to fail, adapt, and keep going without internalizing every put-down or barrier as a personal flaw.
Then and now
When Sexism & Sensibility launched, the cultural conversation was still buzzing with “girl boss” and “girl power” rhetoric. Those messages matter—they instill a sense of possibility. But they’re not enough on their own. Telling girls “you can do anything!” while sending them into institutions still shaped by bias is like handing them a trail guide without showing them where the cliffs, sinkholes, and dead ends are.
Telling girls “you can do anything!” while sending them into institutions still shaped by bias is like handing them a trail guide without showing them where the cliffs, sinkholes, and dead ends are.
Over the past year, as I’ve given talks at schools, conferences, religious institutions, and community organizations, I’ve seen more parents, teachers, and kids begin to ask harder questions:
How can girls stay ambitious when systems reward compliance over courage, especially in male-dominated spaces?
How do we challenge sexism without placing all the responsibility on girls to be endlessly strong?
How do we equip girls to spot sexism in everyday life without turning every interaction into a battle?
What does resilience really look like when girls face harassment, microaggressions, or dismissal from adults they should be able trust?
Recently, a high school student at a progressive school raised her hand at one of my talks and said, “It’s not that we don’t know sexism exists—we feel it every day. What we don’t know is how to respond without being called overdramatic, or shut down, or told we’re imagining it.”
Sometimes parents tell me, “My kid is so progressive, she already knows as much—or more—about sexism than I do.” And it’s true: kids in progressive environments are often highly aware. But understanding sexism and experiencing it are two different things. As I write in Sexism & Sensibility, young people don’t yet have the cognitive, emotional, and social skills to fully navigate it. And their budding feminism is often more of an identity politics.
That teen’s question wasn’t about awareness—it was about strategy, about dignity, about not losing her voice in the face of dismissal.
That’s exactly where Sexism & Sensibility comes in. It gives parents the tools to help their daughters respond in the moment—or, when that’s not possible, to carry the wherewithal not to internalize the negativity. It’s also what inspired my piece She Said What?! The Best Responses to Sexist Remarks, a more accessible read for teens.
Signs of progress—and backlash
We are living in a paradoxical moment. On the one hand, there’s greater openness in talking about gender bias. High school girls are more likely than ever to identify sexism, and some even call it out in real time. On the other hand, we’re witnessing a political climate where women’s rights are contested, where unprecedented online misogyny is seeping into adolescence, and where traditional gender scripts are being reasserted with new vigor. When I wrote Sexism & Sensibility, 50% of girls believed that speaking up would make them unlikeable. New research shows it’s now at 67% --that’s more than 2 in 3 girls!
Girls need as many tools as we can give them to resist, to reframe, and to imagine new possibilities for themselves.
The path ahead
Resilience isn’t something we can hand to girls like a gift. It’s something we cultivate alongside them, in the way we model self-respect, confront sexism in our own lives, and nurture communities that lift them up in a culture that too often tears them down.
A year later, I’m even more convinced that raising resilient girls isn’t just a personal mission for families—it’s a cultural imperative. Their strength, creativity, and self-trust are not only about their futures, but about the kind of world we all want to live in.
✨ Sexism & Sensibility is one year old today. If it’s been meaningful for you, I’d love if you shared it with a friend, a school, or a book club. If you’re new here, I hope you’ll consider picking it up—it’s a guide for the work of raising resilient girls, a task that feels even more urgent than it did a year ago.
Some excellent feminist swag for you
One-Year Book Anniversary Special!
If you grab a copy of Sexism & Sensibility this week, you’ll get:
Exclusive stickers & bookmarks
Cool temporary tattoos—for you and the kids
Fabulous feminist phone wallpaper—10 powerful designs for inspiration at your fingertips
Aaaaand…
60% off a yearly subscription to Raising Her Voice—FOREVER! That’s just $20—and it will never be this low again. (You can use this offer for yourself, or for as many gifts to others as you want.)
Simply send me your receipts, and I’ll send you your goodies via snail mail and email the link to claim your subscription. Don’t miss out!
**Want a personalized copy for yourself or a friend? Order it from Women and Children First, and be sure to put in the notes section who you want it made out to.**
Wait, another way to get freebies…🎉
Already read Sexism & Sensibility?
If you leave an honest review on Amazon and/or Goodreads or anywhere you’d like (you can cut & paste the same review into multiple places), I’ll send you all the swag above! Just email, DM, or PM me with your address. 🎉
Your feedback has been the greatest gift. Here are just ten of the many reviews and comments written about S&S (plus Lisa Damour’s enthusiastic plug!):
“This book is incredibly insightful, thoughtful, and truly eye-opening. Even though I'm quite knowledgeable about the subject, I was completely captivated and couldn't put it down.” — Charlotte
“I feel like my husband and I have a roadmap for raising daughters in this crazy world.” — Lauren
“This is a brilliant and timely book which I enjoyed immensely, and at times was even moved to tears reading it. As a father of a teenage girl I was impressed by Dr. finkelstein‘s ability to point out pitfalls and obstacles facing girls as they develop into womanhood. Some of these are right under our noses, but were out of my awareness until I read this book.” —Reader Dad (Goodreads review)
“I have never felt more seen.” —Anonymous
“Just wanted to tell you how much I’ve been enjoying your book!!! I’m only on the third chapter but it’s putting words to so many things I’ve never quite known how to say! I’ve been sharing bits and pieces with my boyfriend and we both really loved this section!” —21-year-old reader who sent a screenshot of one section
“I haven't been so lit up by a book since Reviving Ophelia, and I had to replace my highlighter halfway through—there is simply so much we must pay attention to.” —Stephanie
“This much-needed book gives grown-ups concrete strategies for raising girls in a world where misogynistic toxicity levels are off the charts. …a balm for those in the trenches.” —Deborah
“Sexism and Sensibility is heartwarming and beautifully written. The examples Finkelstein gives from her own life and practice are so compelling that I find myself mulling over them days later.” —Sophie V.
“Whether your daughter is 2 or 22, this book provides a valuable guide supported by research to help you navigate parenting.” —Natalie
“A brilliant investigation into how the world molds girls. Appreciated the thoughtful, wise, and practical advice for how parents can try to mitigate society’s harm to empower girls to become their truest selves.” - Tracy
These words—about healing, validation, and new understanding—remind me why I wrote this book in the first place. Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone who simply cares deeply about gender equity, you’ve turned these pages into a community, and for that, I’m endlessly grateful.
Yours,
