Right there with ya sista! Both with the big eye roll when people blame therapy and with being a florist. Thanks for the comment. Glad to have found you!
You hit many nails on their heads! This black-and-white parent shaming frustrates me to no end. Even if helicopter parenting is as much to blame for our kids' anxieties as we claim it is (and this is coming from a proud "free range" parent), why aren't we railing against the social forces that created helicopter parents in the first place? Overprotective parents aren't doing their kids any favors, but can we please have real conversations about fear-mongering news media, car-dependent built environments, social media and the proliferation of screens, etc etc? And can we also talk about the anxieties kids are facing that have nothing to do with helicopter parenting, like the long shadow of climate change? You said all this far more eloquently in your story, so I'll stop ranting now. 😜
This was an enlightening read! Thanks for peeling back the layers a bit further around our parenting patterns. I love a bit of a mental challenge and this hit the mark!
Thanks Joann. As a 79 year old mother/grandmother your writing has me thinking about not having the tools for “good” parenting and running to my own therapy for help. Caring less about the “right” skills and being more empathic without society’s judgment might help us all.
So glad you wrote about this. This book and these interviews have been making the rounds in my therapist and parent friend circles and we are all scratching our heads, like, “Seriously?”
There has been an uptick in this kind of “reporting” on therapy lately, that in some ways I really understand and appreciate a critical lens, but on another hand feels like succcccch an oversimplification and misunderstanding of what therapy is.
Just read yours and commented. It is not a rant! So many great points and I appreciate the humor you bring to it. I do think apps should not be conflated with therapy, even if they do help some people in their own way. It is relationship, depth, and insight that leads to longterm change. Thanks for reading and sharing yours!
I really appreciate you even reading it, let alone engaging with it. I was very reluctant to link it here so this means a lot.
The app thing is so hard for me to parse out. It’s clearly not therapy with a capital T, but it is something. I feel need to call it something else. Therapy-lite? Therapy-esque? 🤭
Thank you for writing this....and--UGH. I hate therapy being blamed for societal problems. I mean, here we are trying to fix the shit that capitalism broke (exhausting work, as you know) and now uninformed (or perhaps deluded) people like Shrier are trying to get attention by claiming that *we* are the ones who broke it. I guess it's easier to blame therapists than capitalists, but gimme a break. To be honest, shit like this makes me want to throw up my hands and say, "fine then...YOU fix it." (I can always be a florist...it'd be way easier. lol)
Oh weird -- I already responded to this but it's not here! Well I think what I said was: I'm right there with ya sistah! Both in terms of being over the therapy/therapist-blaming bullshit and the florist fantasy :)
Which is basically about all the pathologizing of attachment styles via TikTok, among young women, limiting their ability to recognize when they're being mistreated.
Right there with ya sista! Both with the big eye roll when people blame therapy and with being a florist. Thanks for the comment. Glad to have found you!
You hit many nails on their heads! This black-and-white parent shaming frustrates me to no end. Even if helicopter parenting is as much to blame for our kids' anxieties as we claim it is (and this is coming from a proud "free range" parent), why aren't we railing against the social forces that created helicopter parents in the first place? Overprotective parents aren't doing their kids any favors, but can we please have real conversations about fear-mongering news media, car-dependent built environments, social media and the proliferation of screens, etc etc? And can we also talk about the anxieties kids are facing that have nothing to do with helicopter parenting, like the long shadow of climate change? You said all this far more eloquently in your story, so I'll stop ranting now. 😜
Thank you Kerala. Yes, more real conversations please about all of this!
This was an enlightening read! Thanks for peeling back the layers a bit further around our parenting patterns. I love a bit of a mental challenge and this hit the mark!
Wow. It was a mental challenge to write (and rewrite!) so that means a lot. Thank you for restacking too ❤️
Always happy to support writing that inspires critical thinking- I subscribed a moment ago and am so grateful to be connected here now!
Can’t wait to see what comes next!
Oh yay. Thank you so much!
Thanks Joann. As a 79 year old mother/grandmother your writing has me thinking about not having the tools for “good” parenting and running to my own therapy for help. Caring less about the “right” skills and being more empathic without society’s judgment might help us all.
So glad you wrote about this. This book and these interviews have been making the rounds in my therapist and parent friend circles and we are all scratching our heads, like, “Seriously?”
There has been an uptick in this kind of “reporting” on therapy lately, that in some ways I really understand and appreciate a critical lens, but on another hand feels like succcccch an oversimplification and misunderstanding of what therapy is.
I rarely do this, but it feels so on point with this conversation, I thought I’d include it in case anyone wanted to check it out. I went on a whole, what I would call rant, but likely is just a critical reflection of these criticisms, about therapy few months ago: https://open.substack.com/pub/kaitlyntopolewski/p/23-of-course-not-everyone-needs-therapy?r=2pbwwb&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web.
Just read yours and commented. It is not a rant! So many great points and I appreciate the humor you bring to it. I do think apps should not be conflated with therapy, even if they do help some people in their own way. It is relationship, depth, and insight that leads to longterm change. Thanks for reading and sharing yours!
I really appreciate you even reading it, let alone engaging with it. I was very reluctant to link it here so this means a lot.
The app thing is so hard for me to parse out. It’s clearly not therapy with a capital T, but it is something. I feel need to call it something else. Therapy-lite? Therapy-esque? 🤭
It's a good question. Self-care? Mental health text support? Therapist-exploiter? :)
Tech support is so spot on.
Thank you for writing this....and--UGH. I hate therapy being blamed for societal problems. I mean, here we are trying to fix the shit that capitalism broke (exhausting work, as you know) and now uninformed (or perhaps deluded) people like Shrier are trying to get attention by claiming that *we* are the ones who broke it. I guess it's easier to blame therapists than capitalists, but gimme a break. To be honest, shit like this makes me want to throw up my hands and say, "fine then...YOU fix it." (I can always be a florist...it'd be way easier. lol)
Also-great page! 😊
Oh weird -- I already responded to this but it's not here! Well I think what I said was: I'm right there with ya sistah! Both in terms of being over the therapy/therapist-blaming bullshit and the florist fantasy :)
Another great post! I just happened to read this one right before yours:
https://www.freyaindia.co.uk/p/maybe-youre-not-anxiously-attached
Which is basically about all the pathologizing of attachment styles via TikTok, among young women, limiting their ability to recognize when they're being mistreated.
Thanks Joy! And funny-- I'll check out that post.