Barbie, Book Rec, & Book Update
Barbie
So many of you have emailed me about the Barbie movie, asking me to write about it in all its contradictions. But since I’m late to the party (scroll to the last section to see what I’ve been up to!) and so much has been written about it already, I’ll keep my analysis to a few key points:
Hail to Greta Gerwig who took on the patriarchy reaching millions of people who might have bristled at the mere mention of the concept previously. And she got women thinking about their own internalized misogyny. Big score!
It was a clever lampooning of crass commercialism and corporate America that, ultimately, benefited crass commercialism and corporate America. Think Barbiecore fashion and the uncritical recycling of Barbie in pop culture.
It brought people back to theaters! The experience of a group of strangers laughing out loud together felt retro (sadly) and also something we, as a society, very much need.
It sparked great conversations with tweens and teens. But also, girls are contorting themselves into the Barbie body.
The message about eschewing perfection was lost among perfect Barbie and Ken who are white and fall squarely on either side of a gender binary. If you’re not those, then you may be an Allan or a Weird Girl.
Spot on representation of the ache moms feel when their daughters begin separating
I grew up understanding Barbie was problematic (I mean HELLO: Babysitter Barbie’s book, “How to Lose Weight” had one simple phrase: “Don’t eat”, and 1990s Teen Talk Barbie said, “Math class is tough. Want to go shopping?”) but I appreciated learning the concept of Barbie was revolutionary, designed to show girls they could aspire to more than motherhood.
Barbie advocates for intersectionality. For example, Barbie refused to take credit for Gloria’s (America Ferrera’s) speech, and the casting showcases powerful women of color, a few plus sized Barbies, and one in a wheelchair. But it fell short because marginalized people’s experiences were mostly left out.
The movie’s greatest accomplishment is making a feminist box office hit (and giving me a place to wear the vintage pink jumpsuit I bought a year ago on a whim for $17 and then wondered why the hell I’d bought it.)
Book Recommendation
With these newsletters, I often recommend a book or article that relates to the topic at hand. But today I’m going off topic because
’s book Growing Up in Public: Coming off Age in a Digital World is launching September 12th so this one can’t wait! I’m fortunate to call Devorah a friend and she’s my go-to for all things related to kids and the internet. She travels the country helping kids, parents, and educators navigate a world where nearly every moment of their lives can be shared and compared. I’ve only had the opportunity to read one small (very helpful) section, but the book is creating quite the buzzzzzz:
“With each page, I felt more confident, less worried, and more aware of what our kids are grappling with,” writes Michelle Icard, author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen. Lori Gottleib, bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone says, “With empathy and insight, Heitner sheds light on how parents’ scrutiny and monitoring of teenagers can intensify the stress of growing up with social media. This is essential reading for anyone who cares about kids and teens.”
If you’re interested in Growing Up in Public, consider preordering it. Here’s why:
Preorders signal interest and lead to in-house support for the author
Preorders build buzz and lead to retailers increasing their initial orders.
Preorders increase the chance of a book being a bestseller as they count toward first week’s sales.
I can’t wait for my copy to arrive!
That’s a wrap (Sort of)!
I submitted the (mostly) final draft of my book to my editor Monday night, putting the final touches on it between seeing patients and late into the night. I could zhuzh it forever but I needed it off my desk so as not to be disowned by my editor or my family.
Bleary-eyed and stiff from sitting for hours uninterrupted, I clicked ‘send’ at midnight and noticed at the top of my inbox an email with the subject: Dear Too Late: You are worth so much more than your manuscript. Thank you universe! Thank you always-supportive writers’ community! Though it felt like it, the email was not meant for me personally. It was a Substack by
who you’ll definitely want to follow if you’re an aspiring writer. Jeannine was responding to a letter signed “Too Late” by someone who feared she’d missed her book-writing window. Jeannine’s words meant something different to me and were the exact right words for the moment: I was exhausted both because I’d worked myself to the bone all summer (all year actually) and, yes, it was way too late at night for me. Plus, all the passion and years that go into writing a manuscript, make it take on excessive importance. My new mantra: I am worth more than my manuscript.I’m excited to get back to writing here in Substack. As it turns out, you can’t possibly say every last thing you want to say in your book because a tome scares readers off and also prices you out of the market. But that means I have SO MUCH good content that I can’t wait to get out before my book is released Fall of 2024. Don’t tell anyone but Penguin Random House decided to time the release with the election and all the misogynistic crap involved with that. (Insert image of witch cackling with steepled fingers rhythmically tapping together). So until then, stay tuned for the following topics, among many others (and continue to let me know what you’d like to read):
Mental health talk on social media and how it influences girls
The most important (but often overlooked) thing parents have to offer their kids
How we devalue female sports, what that does to girls, and how to change it
Potted plant parenting (especially with teens!)
Raising boys who are sensitized to gender inequality
Three things that make me mad (and will make you mad too when you hear this)
Why girls believe having a self (desires, opinions, etc) is mean
And, due to popular demand, more on attachment styles and helping kids with the tender, subtle work of learning how to love and be loved.
Thanks for this feedback--so appreciated, and I am glad the message resonated! xo